Whoever pulls the sword from this thing’s gullet definitely deserves to be the king of England


“We’ve tried force-feeding it vegetables and stabbing it, Colonel Troutknickers! The blarney beast won’t die and we’re fresh out of ideas and artillery! All we have left are these bananas and cloves from the vittles-wagon!”

“Then by god, scald the beast with bananas flambé! Summon Chef Candyfancy immediately, and we shall send the abomination back into the depths of Lake Flabberdashery!”


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