Face it, if you’re dating someone with a self esteem of this caliber there is something inside of yourself that needs reexamining. And while you’re replacing her and hiring a therapist, just go ahead and get yourself a decorator because those chinz drapes and Pepto wallpaper have done absolutely nothing to answer the question we’ve all been entertaining: why in the blazing hellfire is there a fucking coat of arms in the dining room? Is it that important to the House of WASP that everyone pay homage? By the way, we know exactly what you were doing when OOPS! you showed up out of the blue at your husband’s office. If you wanted the truth you should have stopped two floors below and hung a right. That’s where the janitor’s closet is.