That poor bastard


analImagine your wife meeting you at the front door after a hard day of work in full makeup and full of promises of something new and unexpected. As you follow her through the living room with visions of handcuffs, anal, and her best friend Margaret your expectations peak excitedly only to be crushed when she grandly presents you with a hot and steamy bowl of…white rice. As you stare, flabbergasted, she delightedly explains to you that you’ll be having rice for dinner every day for a year. It is at that moment when you realize that your spirit is dead and you resign yourself to the fact that any and all of your childhood dreams have been reduced to dust and you reach for the Scotch bottle.

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