GEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

At first glance this looks like a festive and cheerful birthday cake made by a well-meaning but mentally challenged member of the PTA. But then you start noticing stuff. Stuff like…

This bizarre olive-eyed birdmanthing chasing down whatever the hell the thing with three red tails is supposed to be.

And Mr. Grafty, the Burn Victim Clown.

This deranged fucking rabbit made an appearance.

Open flames and shit made of paper meant to be flung about. What could possibly go wrong?

And don’t even think I didn’t notice the ring of dicks on top of that Cake o’ Depravity, Larry Flynt. I hope you didn’t bake a stripper into that cake. She’ll be really disappointed and angry when she learns that first graders only get two singles a week for their allowances.