Are real clams going to break the bank? We used to stub our toes on those little fuckers every year when we went swimming in the lake by our cabin. We retaliated by skipping them across the water, not even realizing that we were apparently sitting on a gold mine.
Also, if your “courtesy to guests who are watching their diets” involves sour cream and cream cheese then they should thank their lucky stars that they didn’t start to drown in front of you. You’d probably throw a bucket of water in their face.