The “salad” means that it’s nutritious

If you ever want to make a hungover friend puke a Technicolor rainbow then tell them to stir some bologna and milk into a filthy ashtray. I think what the Mt. Vesuvius barracaded in my bathroom (who is making us late to the music show, thank you very much) means by “PPPHHGGRRRMMMAARRMM I’m going to kill you in the face PHHHLLAARRRRGGGMM you disgusting HHUUURRRGGGHHHH whackjob FLLLAAAAHHHHH” is “I should learn to handle tequila like a not-preschooler.”