“OH YEAH?!? DEVILED HAM WHIP! What do you have to say about THAT, Henry?!?”

“I…um, I, uh, I love you, Marianne?”

“ALWAYS GOTTA HAVE THE LAST WORD, HENRY. Well, I hope you and your glistening peas are happy SURFING THE COUCH TONIGHT. Bastard.”



injumTalk about an identity crisis. We have one Native American seig heiling a tin of porked gel-meat, one socially unaware Caucasian raver in a headdress, and for some reason a baseball player. And like that stupid Disney ride It’s a Small World After All they all come together to convey the message that this meatfood-flavored gelatinous cube is protecting your table from what I can only guess is some 1960’s ad man slamming his forehead to the wood. There’s a new vocabulary word for this, and it is “lo-pot-o-meat.”

This’ll show those shit-lords…


If the offering of pre-boiled canned pudding won’t communicate your message of “Eat shit and die” to those pesky in-laws then the nonchalant way you scratch your ass and re-grasp the plates with the offending finger in the pudding will. And what the hell does ‘gur-and’ mean? Were they trying to express grandness but couldn’t make it through without a three second belch?