As a Wisconsinite, the idea of frozen cheese offends me

cheeseBehold the ingredients to this calorie conscious slab of chilled bird shit:

2 2/3 cups cottage cheese
8 ounces blue cheese
1/2 cup buttermilk
2 tablespoons chives
2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
1 teaspoon barbecue spice
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
2 cups raw broccoli florets
Green pepper strips, to garnish

What happens when this thing melts? Not only is it offensive to the taste buds, but a sudden spike in temperature could send it flying apart like Nell Carter’s pantyhose. Cottage cheese everywhere. You’ve been warned.


They call me Mellow Yellow

yellowOne of the definitive traits of 1970’s photography was their steadfast adherence to a color scheme. When the creative director wants YELLOW then by God, you deliver YELLOW. That chiffon looks like the snow in my front yard after I drunkenly stumbled home last night. I couldn’t find my keys and I drank six pints of beer.