As a Wisconsinite, the idea of frozen cheese offends me

cheeseBehold the ingredients to this calorie conscious slab of chilled bird shit:

2 2/3 cups cottage cheese
8 ounces blue cheese
1/2 cup buttermilk
2 tablespoons chives
2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
1 teaspoon barbecue spice
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
2 cups raw broccoli florets
Green pepper strips, to garnish

What happens when this thing melts? Not only is it offensive to the taste buds, but a sudden spike in temperature could send it flying apart like Nell Carter’s pantyhose. Cottage cheese everywhere. You’ve been warned.

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They call me Mellow Yellow

yellowOne of the definitive traits of 1970’s photography was their steadfast adherence to a color scheme. When the creative director wants YELLOW then by God, you deliver YELLOW. That chiffon looks like the snow in my front yard after I drunkenly stumbled home last night. I couldn’t find my keys and I drank six pints of beer.