What about this mess spells out ‘leisurely Sunday at home’ to anyone with a pulse?

tom - Copy

This is Jesus’ way of letting you know that your Sunday would have been better spent in church. Even the olive is puking.


I get an anti-Semite WASP vibe from this for some odd reason…


“Henderson, I don’t mean to be rude, but what the fuck kind of meat did the missus use for these canapes?”

“Grade C- Pink, canned in its own gingivitis and entrail weepings.”

“We will no longer be requiring your catering services at this year’s Matzoh Ball.”


I can’t wait for this earth-shattering fiesta


Nalley’s Potato Sauce, the mild and adequate condiment that will rev up your Every Third Monday Of The Month Is Mandatory With The Neighbors party. Add an exciting twist by serving one of their nine diverse flavors, like Clam and Potato, the 1970’s prerequisite Olive Pimento, Sour Butter, or Cat Radish (you can only say, “I’m sorry for running over your stupid cat, Johnson. Christ, that was two weeks ago, get off my ass already” so many times before the words lose their meaning and you have to start making gestures). Don’t expect the neighbors to be so put off by this pureed dook-in-a-bottle that they decide that the monthly ragers have run their course though. If the lard-n-jelly sandwiches you dished up last month didn’t do it, nothing will.

Now that’s what I call party food!


Talk about festive.These dishes just scream¬†for dance beats. One of them comes resplendent with rave whistles and one provides coke straws for all.¬†These are the sort of dishes that you’d feel perfectly comfortable bringing to Studio 54 where someone might actually be wasted enough to sample the shrimp and olive thing.