Everything about this recipe card is pervy and unsettling and warrants a phone call to CPS on Betty Crocker’s ass. The Sexual Harassment Panda cake and the stuffed dog are clearly sharing a lascivious and probably illegal relationship, the directions kick off with an intro written by V.C. Andrews, and I’m guessing that any parent who missed these red flags also failed to notice that the party invites were cut in the shape of “that one uncle that we’re all aware of but never speak about.”